GOD SERVICE

The week I waited for the mammogram felt like a very long time. I was quite concerned and a few of my friends were as well, which made me uneasy. You see, I have reason to panic when I think of CANCER. My father died at 44, when I was six, of cancer. I watched my very strong father, get weaker, and weaker with every passing day. Every breath he took was a struggle, I could see every bone in his body and when he coughed, blood came up.  This is what I think of when I hear the word CANCER. The American flag was draped over his coffin, taps was played by the bag pipes and my family was never the same again.

CANCER came creeping into my life again, this time with my mother. At 61 she was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, stage III. We were told the options were few and her best chance was a bone marrow transplant, so off to Houston Texas we went. While she was undergoing tests there, she walked out on them, well I had to wheel her out. She was so sick she could not walk, but she said she just knew that was not for her. The only other option left was to take a drug called Thalidomide. We were told it would only work until the cancer outsmarted the drug. That was the only option for her. They did not know how long she would live.

Well, I am thankful to say she lived 8 years. Her doctor, Dr. Grossman, was very pleased with her progress over the years and had told her she was his poster patient. My mother had many good days and was able to live long enough to see the birth of my miracle twins. Over the many years, my Mother's bones got weaker and weaker, she fell so many times, and she was in excruciating pain. This went on for years. But it gave my Mom and I time, time to talk about death, time to tell each other everything we wanted to, but also a lot of time to watch her slowly die. This is what I think of when I hear the word CANCER.

My Grandfather, aunt, and uncles all died from CANCER. So for me the word CANCER equals DEATH. Yes, this is dramatic, but that has been my experience with it. So when the day came to get my mammogram, I was not my chipper self. I sat in my car going over my scripture and when I was done, I still could not get out of the car. I thought, if this is CANCER, what have I done in my life? I am just a stay at home Mom. Have I really made a difference? While thinking these terrible thoughts, my body felt like a thick brick that I could not lift. So what did I do? I checked Facebook, why? Because I live in 2016! When I opened it up, there was a message I was tagged in, not one minute before. My friend Rebecca had posted, "Marti Morrow Bailey, I thought you'd like to know that out of the blue, Caroline came to me last night and said, "Mommy, it's Bible time. Where is my Bible?" What's interesting about this, is although we had read her the Bible a couple of times, it was not in the bedtime story rotation. She's going to a private Christian preschool so they must have Bible time, but thought you'd like to know she loves the children's Bible you gave her!"

The timing of this could not have been more perfect! This was the hand of God almighty telling me YES, MARTI MORROW BAILEY YOU HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE! In the life of this precious little girl, I had given her a Bible. Even though I do not get to visit with her, my gift of the Word had made a difference. God used Caroline to remind me that I am LOVED by GOD! This allowed me to get up out of the car and walk inside the building. When I walked in I was greeted by a long time friend, Beth Harris, that I had been in an infertility Bible study with many years ago. She had the most beautiful smile on her face and was just delighted to see me. I had to take her picture I was so excited to see her as well. She gave me the most warm loving hug, looked my appointment up and told me I was in the wrong place! Well, for people who know me will not be surprised that I went into the wrong place! I then had to drive around to the back of the building, in which I waited for the dreaded appointment.

Finally, my name was called and by that time my husband had come to sit with me, but the mammogram he could not be with me for. While the technician was taking the images and reviewing them, she asked me how I was doing,  because I had my head down I assumed. I let her know that I was praying for discernment and wisdom for her. She then went on to tell me she had a very busy morning and several patients that required extra time. After she was done taking my glamour shots, I was then escorted into another room to wait for my ultrasound. While I was waiting I remembered I had some books on my phone, so I pulled up one I had not read, called "God Loves You Chester Blue." While I was reading this book, I came across some powerful scriptures. Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength," which happens to be one of my verses I say everyday when I workout. What I was doing now, well, it was a different kind of exercise. This was an exercise in TRUST. When the technician came to check on me I knew things were not good! That is when I got the text from my Mother-in-law, letting me know that they were praying for a good report for me today and to wish me a Happy Anniversary! Did I mention it was my 18th wedding Anniversary? So, I tried to text her back to tell her the doctor was reading the mammogram right at that time, but the text would not go through, said NO SERVICE! There may not have been cell service, but there was GOD SERVICE! Not only did I get a text message without cell service, but I literally felt my body rise from a slumped position into an erect strong stance. Then the technician comes back out to tell me the doctor needs more glamour shots! So I get up to go and then she said he changed his mind. So I go sit back down and wait again. Then the door opens and it is my turn for the ultrasound!

The room was quite chilly and I shook the whole time I had the ultrasound. I felt very sorry for the technician, I was like a fish on that table. Truth be told, I was not only cold, I was scared. A few tears rolled down my cheeks even though I told myself I would not cry!! I have to say she was very thorough and I had no doubt she got it all. She told me she would have the doctor review it and he would come in and tell me the results. I asked that they bring my husband in as well. So when I got up to get dressed, I noticed the time on my phone and knew that my husband would not be in the waiting room, because he had a business appointment he had to attend with his boss. At that time, I knew I had to face the bad news alone. I was trying to gather myself when I read the text from my father-in-law. It said, "We are very thankful for the blessings your family brought Barb and I . The love you share is touching given today's great challenges. You both clearly realize the role Christ Jesus must play in married and family life. You can count on our support and daily prayers." I then tried to text back, but there was no cell service, only GOD SERVICE. Once I read that, God spoke to me and said, "It is ok that you are alone now, you alone will stand before me on my throne. It will be just me and you then and it is ok that it is just me and you now!" Wow! How powerful is that! Yes, I could do all things through Christ Jesus!

The doctor came in and said the mammogram did not look good, but the ultrasound looked better and he was going to do it himself to make sure. He then assured me that he did not think it was CANCER seeing it in "real" time. However, he was still going to send me for a biopsy, just to make sure, because it did look suspicious. But do not worry he said, I do not think this is CANCER.

So that night, my husband took me and the kids out for a feast. We laughed, we ate, and we rejoiced that we had been together for 18 years! We had rode the waves of infertility, death of a parent, infant twins, but not CANCER, at least not tonight...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart ~ Proverbs 3:5